the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
