talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
