I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Randomize
