He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
