One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
i think im in europe. pls send help
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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