Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
