Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
