Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
