i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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