I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
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