i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
