scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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