Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You can't just leave with hair like that
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize