I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
