you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
