I swear she didn't look like that last week.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
