So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You did what with his pubic hair?
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