I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I feel like a drive thru vagina
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
