I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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