you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
