You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
