There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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