Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
