Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Randomize
