margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
We're too hungover to prance.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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