It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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