his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
