i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize