Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
