Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
