you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
