i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
