i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize