she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize