let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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