How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize