What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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