And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
We don't watch enough power rangers
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize