I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Randomize
