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I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize