Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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