I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
