I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Randomize
