I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
