Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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