Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
