dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
