he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
She told me I should be a condom model.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
