Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
