If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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