If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
