There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
