I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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