and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
