Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I love you. Go after that dick
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
