He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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