their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
