I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I've blown a few things in my day
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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