I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
