If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
