This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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