Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
