is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
