Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize