This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
