it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
