I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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