Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
