Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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