using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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