Ambien. No doubt about it.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
