My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
