No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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